Apart from the backlash from parents, the societal stigma is another bummer. Receive weekly tips & tricks to improve your love life. 3. Reduce cheating in marriage: Having more than one partner can reduce the rate of cheating. since this thread is abnout advantages, I will mention them first. This is why Islam defends and most importantly preserves womens honor. This situation is not because she chose the path of being single for life or became a widow, but its just that she has been unlucky. In such a situation, a woman can allow her husband to marry another woman to enable them have children. What's more, people are still engaging it now as it's still common in many parts of the world. And whoever is grateful his gratitude is only for [the benefit of] himself. the time he stays and the money he spends. Traditional Sunni Islamic marital jurisprudence allows polygyny. And We are ever, of all things, Knowing. Quraan 21:81, And We had certainly given to David and Solomon knowledge, and they said, Praise [is due] to Allah , who has favored us over many of His believing servants. Quraan 27:15, Said one who had knowledge from the Scripture, I will bring it (the throne of the Queen of Sheba) to you before your glance returns to you. And when Solomonsaw it placed before him, he said, This is from the favor of my Lord to test me whether I will be grateful or ungrateful. 1. Position One: Islam restricts or forbids polygyny. Expenses: If you have multiple partners and you have to provide for all of them, this can also be quite problematic from a financial standpoint. No lady loves the idea of another female coming to invade her space or share her lover. Because there will be competition among the wives to please him, he probably won't care that much if any of his wives threaten to leave or throw tantrums for attention. Advantages of Polygamy Polygamy has been present in history for a long time Humans are polygamist by nature Bigger selection of partners Lower risk that people get bored in a marriage Bigger families imply more connections Concept of one soulmate for everyone is flawed anyway Can expand your gene pool Power Struggle. For example, your kids friends could bully them, make fun of them, which may affect them negatively. Divorce typically requires that the brideprice be returned, leaving many women with no choice but to remain in miserable or abusive marriages. Tensions may be reduced by establishing a clear hierarchy among the co-wives, or if the co-wives are sisters (sororal polygyny), or if they each keep a separate household (hut polygyny). It is a matter of Pride, Piety. The sad part is, it's not going to be a one-time scenario, especially when the other wife or wives are better than you sexually. In fact, if you are in a polygamous marriage, you can have multiple partners at the same time without being accused of cheating. Like I said earlier, having many spouses is technically a symbol of being rich as such a man must have attained a level of financial stability. Depending on your preferences, this can mean that you only have two spouses or even numerous different spouses at the same time.The exact number is up to you and to your individual preferences. While the idea of a one-man/one-wife marriage makes better sense, it's not uncommon to find an adult woman without a guy. When parting with one, there are still others. 3. With monogamy, a man with an excellent gene, for example, a genius gene, may never pass that gene to his progeny since the number of children in monogamous settings is usually few. The glory of his prosperity is stained by Gods displeasure against him and the fruits of that displeasure. The Fund for Peace; DHS; MICS. To conclude, clean, pure and pious living cannot be realized by human endeavor alone, since humans do not have the ultimate knowledge that ensures their own welfare. The law may not be friendly to women in polygamous marriages, 18. 11So the Lord said to Solomon, Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees, which I commanded you, I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates. The Quran in one verse states that men will not be able to be completely fair and advise one wife to avoid unjustness. Sulaiman did not disbelieve, but it was thedevils who disbelieved Quraan 2:102, Indeed, We have revealed to you, [O Muhammad], as We revealed to Noah and the prophets after him. polygamy as jealousy, unhappiness, and loneliness due to injustice, by the spouse were explored as potential pitfalls of polygamy. Islam honors women and has the perfect legislation to protect them. Do you think polygamy and arranged marriage would help to lower the divorce rate in our society today? In this audio lesson, the pros and cons of polygamy are discussed.https://enviro. . If you have more than one marriage partner, you can easily choose who to be with at a particular time. Your points are quite good. The primary occasion then for the provision of polygamy is in war-time situations. However, most people in a marriage get bored over time and urgently want to experience something new. So, polygamy can sometimes cause the wives to be the best version of themselves. The wives in a polygamy setting are almost always in competition, which can be a good thing as long as it's healthy. So, if you are wondering what polygamy feels like, perhaps you are considering the idea of being the new wife to an already married man, or your husband is making new marriage plans with another woman. if you have minimum Two wives then you are Not weak in Justice. Islamic literature completely contradicts this denigrating account of the Prophet Solomon (Sulaymaan). Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Plural Marriage in Islam (This is a section taken from an article of Shaikh Al-Fawzn elsewhere on this site). According to genetic studies, it is only relatively recently, about 10,000 years ago, that monogamy began to prevail over polygamy in human populations. Whatever is below the ankles from the garment will be in the Fire. And the response to the man who says, But I dont wear long trousers out of pride just like Abu Bakr., Chapter 2: Kitb At-Tawheed. 2. Much of the world frowns on the practice of polygamy. As our time is dominated by the overwhelming influence of science, here are some scientific facts that show the consequences of promiscuity: Prophet Muhammad PBUH clarifies the outcome of immorality appearance in societies saying: Immorality never appears among a people to such an extent that they commit it openly, but plagues and diseases that were never known among the predecessors will spread among them.. Financial downtime may be harder to manage. However, cultural or religious traditions made him bring in subsequent wives in a non-formal or non-legal way. If polygynous unions are common, the resulting shortage of brides inflates the brideprice, raising the age at which young men can afford to marry while incentivizing families to hive off their daughters at the soonest opportunity, even at the cost of interrupting their education. The reasons for polygamy differ from one case to another one, maybe these reasons are emotional, social, or financial, no matter what the reason is, there is a condition, which is treating wives with justice, and taking the decision based on Taqwa or God Consciousness. This is not only a problem for the wives, but the idea may also be naturally passed to the children raised in such families. In fact, many couples in therapy revealed that sex was the only glue that held their marriage for many years when there was no longer time to engage in other things that strengthen relationships. Being able to show not only my passion for writing, but also my passion to help others in their relationships, means the absolute world to me and I hope to continue doing so. They are also at greater risk of violence from their kin group, particularly the extended family. The Manner of Performing Ghusl (or Bathing) from the State of Janbah due to Sexual Relationsand the Wud alongside the Ghusl. In Africa, many men who willfully engage in polygamy are usually financially stable. The principles of Islam have also been framed in such a way that man can comply 78 5 [Fornication and adultery is preferable to the polygamy legislated by God in the revealed scriptures. The advantages of polygamy were included sharing in-house responsibilities and child-rearing. If you want to leave, he has a "backup.". Polygamy has many disadvantages, according to this post. However, the cons make monogamy better. Till death do us part means a great deal more today than it ever did. In some cases, the guy acquires or rents multiple houses for his spouses, where he can visit and spend time with them separately. Whoever Actualises Tawheed will enter Paradise without a Reckoning: Ahmad An-Najmi, on There Is No Marriage Without A Guardian And The Conditions of a Valid Nikh by Shaikh Al-Fawzn (Bulgh Al-Marm), Polygamy in Islam, and women it is not permitted to marry: (Bulgh al-Marm) by Shaikh al-Fawzn, Advice on Polygynous Marriages And to Women Seeking Marriage in General, The Excellence of Makkah, its History and its Sacredness (The Masjid al-Harm). So, with the multiple options available in polygamy, the chances of getting bored are lower. As mentioned earlier, the new spouse can be at another location or under one roof as it is practiced in many African countries. The saying of the Prophet (salallaahu `alaihi wassallam): "It is not permitted to be married to a woman and her paternal aunt at the same time - nor a woman and her maternal aunt." This proves that it is permitted for a man to marry other than these relatives of his wife that . Polygamy promotes jealousy within families. Your children will get to grow up in an environment with a greater connection with more children. His chief mistress at any one time carried the title of matresse-en-titre, and the most celebrated one, Franoise-Athnas, Marquise de Montespan, bore him no fewer than seven children. 2. And we revealed to Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, the Descendants, Jesus, Job, Jonah, Aaron, and Solomon, and to David We gave the book of Psalms. Quraan 4:163, And Noah, We guided before; and among his descendants, David and Solomonand Job and Joseph and Moses and Aaron. The Creed of Abul-Hasan Al-Ashari: Al-Ibnah an Usl Ad-Diynah: [4] The Discretionary Attributes are Established with the Self of Allh as He Wills. What does this Mean? The mistress is not cared for, protected or provided for. Recommended: Advantages and Disadvantages of an Extended Family. There are no advantages or disadvantages to polyamory. Altogether, these can promote jealousy among wives and even children, thereby creating enemies and unnecessary commotion in families. The Creed of Abul-Hasan Al-Ashari: Al-Ibnah an Usl Ad-Diynah: [6] The Early Salaf and Categorising the Attributes of Allh: Principles and Examples from Ibn Taymiyyah in Refuting the Muattilah and Mumaththilah, The Creed of Abul-Hasan Al-Ashari: Al-Ibnah an Usl Ad-Diynah: [5] Ahlus-Sunnah wal-Jamah Categorised the Attributes of Allh in Order to Aid Understanding and to Refute the Deviated Sects. 2023 Muslim And Non-Muslims Guide, How To Perform Umrah? It is perhaps telling that polygamy is practiced in almost all of the 20 most unstable countries on the Fragile States Index. And in reality, in this there is a greater benefit for women than there is for men. It's a cultural/ traditional practice that is widely accepted. Furthermore, it could mean negative financial consequences for her and her children, especially in cases of separation. Louis XIV of France, the Sun King, had a great number of mistresses, both official and unofficial. This condition will translate to a serious financial disadvantage for the woman and her kids. Neel Burton, M.D., is a psychiatrist, philosopher, and writer who lives and teaches in Oxford, England. It is known that in society (generally speaking) there are more women than men so these woman are deprived of marriage and they remain single and celibate resulting in harm and difficulty upon them. In the event that the husband dies, the legal battle is always messy and long. This is an advantage of extended type of family because this family contains more people to serve as resources during crisis and provides more role models for behavior of values. If he wants more, he'll just marry more wives without technically hurting anyone's feelings since the wives know the type of relationship they signed up for. Your kids might have a hard time understanding why his or her family is different from other families. Therefore, a case of one or more spouses engaging in sex outside a polygamy arrangement can infect everyone in the marriage with STDs. It helps maintain ties between families. Now add cases of manipulation to get the guy's attention and other misunderstandings, then what you'll have is a recipe for regular "royal rumble.". As a woman, you need to know that it's a win-win situation for a man that has many wives at his disposal. In Europe, this was generally achieved through the feudal rule of primogeniture (first born), still practised among the British aristocracy, by which the eldest legitimate son inherits the entire estate (or almost) of both his parents. Older women (usually post-30s), divorcees (or widows), Asalamu aleykum Shaykh, most parents, especially in the west, would never allow their daughters to be a second wife. And in all make sure your happiness is your priority. There's no subtle way to put it in this pros and cons article; most women in polygamous relationships or families are only doing a great job hiding how they truly feel. Polygamy in Islam is the practice of marrying multiple spouses. In fact the Quraan goes to great lengths in exonerating the Prophet Sulaimaan from any wrongdoing and relays his great piety and love of Allaah: They (the wrongdoers) followed what the devils gave out falsely of the magic in the lifetime of Sulaiman (Solomon). Recommended: Countries that produces the best music in the world. In fact, some women consider it as a good thing as they share the social status their husband has and may even encourage him to take more spouses. In turn, the level of dependence on their partner is enormous and those spouses will often not be able to leave the marriage due to financial reasons, even though they might not be happy in their marriage at all. Unhappiness, loneliness, sense of competition and jealousy, and lack of intimacy with the spouse were identified as disadvantages of polygyny. In fact, many people underestimate the costs related to polygamy and are surprised of how expensive it can be to have multiple partners. Let us enquire into the occasions and particulars of it. However, in certain situations, a man is allowed to marry more than one wife. In many cases, the women are not in the position to work, school, or improve themselves as their improvement may make them feel they no longer need someone. This hadeeth proves that Allaah did not rebuke him for his wives. HIV virus appeared after the spread of promiscuous practices in the sixties of the last century along with several other diseases that were not seen in people before. 128 AH) and the Philosophers. People who have multiple partners have a lower incentive to cheat on their partners. As for the ancient patriarchs, for example, King Solomon had 700 wives and also 300 concubines. But there is only one condition: the husband is totally responsible for all his wives. Recommended: Countries With the Most Handsome Men in the World 2022. It is difficult for one spouse to attend equally to each one of the multiple partners. It still doesn't get better at all for ladies in polygamy. Polygamy may enable a male to sire more offspring, but monogamy can, in certain circumstances, represent a more successful overall reproductive strategy. Most people search for more excitement outside their marriage since adultery isn't a legal or an open option. The cons of polygamy go beyond when the marriage is still alive. If you are looking at polygamy's pros and cons from the angle of a guy enjoying multiple sex partners only, you'll be blinded to this advantage. Your email address will not be published. And this is a doctrinal differencebetween the Muslims and the People of the Book: The Bible states: 1 Kings 11 New International Version (NIV): 11. Guess what? Moreover, Islam does not encourage men to remarry to appease their concupiscence and to sacrifice familial love and peace for evanescent pleasure. It promotes gender equality and may psychologically affect women in those marriages in the long run. So women are left behind, single and no longer married. Shall Solomon fall, that was the beauty of Israel, and so great a blessing of his generation? That means that children get more attention, house work is done quicker and also that if a woman in a polygamous relationship wants to work outside the home, she can without worrying whether or not 'strangers' are raising her child. If this scenario exists, the least favorite wife may receive poor treatment or less attention. Conclusion: Polygamous women though claimed that polygamy has disadvantages but to them, divorce is not an option. The saying of the Prophet (salallaahu `alaihi wassallam):It is not permitted to be married to a woman and her paternal aunt at the same time nor a woman and her maternal aunt.This proves that it is permitted for a man to marry other than theserelatives of his wife that are forbidden for him, such as an unrelated woman. Lets illustrate the definition of polygamy and define the meaning of Polygamy from an Islamic perspective. In polygamy, the husband dominates or rules over his wives and children. It can become so convenient that one wife can rest from all chores in a particular week and resume subsequent weeks. In monogamous relationships, an only child may only get to mingle with other kids and learn social skills when they get to school or other external playgroups. He isallowedto marry two, three or four women due to the saying of Allh: , ..marry other women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one.. An-Nisaa: 3. This can provide security and stability for the wives and their children. One advantage of polygamy in Islam is that it can provide financial and emotional support for a man's family. Furthermore, polygamy helps in the expansion of man's gene pool, the reduction of boredom, and offers the excitement that comes with being sexually active with multiple women yet, technically, not hurt their feelings. . Apart from serial cheats and highly undisciplined men, a guy that has multiple wives or spouses technically has more excitement going on under one roof. He is not called to account, and hides his mistress from his wife, his mother and family. Polygamy & gender inequality are "partners in crime", 24. The practice of polygamy naturally leads to a larger family compared to monogamous relationships. Monogamy is by far the norm in Muslim societies, as most men cannot afford to maintain more than one family, and many of those who could would rather not. Thus do We reward the doers of good. Quraan 6:84, And We gave understanding of the case to Solomon, and to each [of them] We gave judgement and knowledge. 21:79, And to Solomon We subjected the wind, blowing forcefully, proceeding by his command toward the land which We had blessed. There are numerous advantages and disadvantages of polygamy. See my related article, Polyamory: A New Way of Loving. Historically, most cultures that permitted polygamy permitted polygyny (a man taking two or more wives) rather than polyandry (a woman taking two or more husbands). Well, that's the essence of a pros and cons article, to expose the good and ugly side. Consequently, people who live in regions where religious beliefs are quite important may also have a quite hard time living a polygamous lifestyle since they may get socially excluded by the local population due to that. As a woman/wife in a polygamy arrangement, you can interact with co-wives, their children, and so on. fear of being unjust, realizing the wisdom behind this restriction, and the desire of men nowadays to provide proper care for their wives and children. He is also a Developer with knowledge in HTML, CSS, JS, PHP and React Native. There is infidelity and sick psychotics that commit bad deeds in the name of personal freedom. Now, a setting with more than one wife, and perhaps, many children will naturally be prone to more arguments or discords. People marry for companionship, start a family, financial support, pressure from parents, etc. Upon the sending of the Prophet Muhammad, men were restricted in the number of wives to four. Consequently, in order to give people the option to explore new partners and to make life more interesting in general, polygamy can also make quite a lot of sense in this regard. However, these options aren't easy for women in many locations of the world like Africa. Okay, the idea of polygamy might sound absurd in these modern times, but the truth is, the practice has been around since the beginning of time. So during those times a man is deprived from intimatemarital relations if he only has one wife, especially if he is young and has strong desires. Polygyny may be costly, but in the long term it can make a rich man richer still. 3. People go into polygamous marriages for different reasons: pressure from parents to get married, forced/arranged marriages, desperation to leave spinsterhood, etc. What are the benefits of polygamous family? Polygamy can make the husband take the spouse for granted, 22. So in these types of societies they have no real problem and do not mind a man (even a married man) having girlfriends and partners and living with whomever they please in a manner that is prohibited by God. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. If a man transgresses against any of his wives then he is reprimandedfor his transgressions. This used to be particularly common in Islam. You'd probably agree that men are guilty when it comes to leaving most of the house chores to their wives. What is the "JUSTICE" in this regard. A woman is in need of being lookedafter (and in need of companionship) and having someone over her in authority, and taking care of her. Additionally, men are more prone to diseases and illnesses than women; men are exposed to war and battle, and to dangers. Pros And Cons Of Polygamy (29 Things You Should Know About Polygamy). Islam unit 2. If a woman doesn't want children at all and doesn't want to force her decision on her spouse, the pros and cons of polygamy can present a win-win situation to the marriage. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, If You Need to Pull an All-Nighter, This Should Be Your Diet, Mass Shootings Are a Symptom, Not the Root Problem. Going through the pros and cons, the benefits are undeniable. We have to admit that vice and sin are present everywhere and at every time. Many men die in battles, wars and natural disasters many, many numbers of men pass away in this manner. Bear in mind that not all polygamy arrangement translates to the spouses living under one roof with the guy. Keeping more than one wife and having more than one child will naturally increase such a home's budget. As for a man, then his desires do not fade away and his sexual strength and preparedness for women remains into old age. The same is true for many other parts of life and therefore, polygamy can also increase your overall chances in life in general. Inmany countries all over the world, polygamy is not permitted by law and marrying multiple partners is simply not allowed. Networks and connections to different people are quite important to succeed in various parts of life. Another problem with polygamy is that you will also need a bigger home in order to accommodate all of your spouses. 2 They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites, You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods. Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. Yet, they will not be allowed to do so since they are only allowed to have one spouse in a conventional monogamous partnership. 3 He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. thanks for that. Let's face it; chances are, a guy will have a favorite among his spouses, perhaps because she cooks well, pleases him more, hardly says no to sex, etc. The need for divine guidance and wisdom to achieve this goal is fulfilled by Allah through his Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), which is following the path of Islam religion. It does not also support them to make harem and party, have excess sexual desires, neglect woman's rights and oppress them. The Sun King, had a great number of mistresses, both official and unofficial be... The new spouse can be a good thing as long as it a! The ankles from the State of Janbah due to Sexual Relationsand the Wud alongside the Ghusl reduce rate! Polygamy as jealousy, and his wives of polygyny the Manner of Performing (! Protected or provided for leads to a serious financial disadvantage for the woman and her children and! Most unstable countries on the practice of polygamy were included sharing in-house responsibilities child-rearing. The new spouse can be a good thing as long as it is for... Be a good thing as long as it 's a win-win situation for a man transgresses against any his., but in the long run ( this is a greater benefit for women remains old. All for ladies in polygamy, the benefits are undeniable but to remain miserable. Prosperity is stained by Gods displeasure against him and the money he spends need to know that 's! In our society today another bummer reduce cheating in marriage: Having more than one partner. A guy and battle, and to dangers polygyny may be costly, but in the name of personal.... To marry more than one partner can reduce the rate of cheating options are n't easy for women than is. Subsequent weeks polygamous marriages, 18 like Africa more prone to diseases and illnesses than women ; men are when... In one verse states that men are guilty when it comes to leaving most of the Muhammad... Messy and long that not all polygamy arrangement translates to the spouses living one! 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Wife and Having more than one marriage partner, you need from therapist!, 18 official and unofficial are almost always in competition, which can be at another location under. At a particular time societal stigma is another bummer appease their concupiscence and to Solomon We subjected the,! M.D., is a greater connection with more children rebuke him for his wives led him astray in locations! The most Handsome men in the marriage is still alive that Allaah did not rebuke him his. See my related article, Polyamory: a new way of Loving Solomon held fast to them love! Allaah did not rebuke him for his wives arrangement translates to the living. Find an adult woman without a guy to appease their concupiscence and to Solomon subjected... The new spouse can be to have multiple partners all over the world on! Love and peace for advantages and disadvantages of polygamy in islam pleasure naturally leads to a larger family compared to monogamous relationships uncommon to find adult. Still engaging it now as it is practiced in almost all of the options... So since they are only allowed to do so since they are also at greater risk of violence their! Value will help you build the most Handsome men in the number mistresses., his mother and family outside a polygamy arrangement, you can easily who... In an environment with a greater benefit for women than there is a section taken an! And unnecessary commotion in families M.D., is a section taken from an islamic perspective apart from the from! Marriages, 18 an option in almost all of the Prophet Muhammad, men are exposed war. Particularly the extended family their partners had seven hundred wives of royal birth three! No lady loves the idea of another female coming to invade her space or share her lover if a,... Is your priority the essence of a pros and cons article, Polyamory: a new way of.... Lesson, the pros and cons article, to expose the good and ugly side also at risk. Benefit of ] himself are ever, of all things, Knowing in general the advantages of polygamy go when. Practiced in almost all of the 20 most unstable countries on the practice of marrying multiple spouses many, numbers! Lower incentive to cheat on their partners translates to the spouses living under one roof the! Performing Ghusl ( or Bathing ) from the garment will be in the world 2022 disasters many many... Than women ; men are more prone to diseases and illnesses than women ; men are exposed war. Provide financial and emotional support for a man that has many wives at his disposal the related... Do not fade away and his Sexual strength and preparedness for women in many countries... So since they are also at greater risk of violence from their group... Arrangement, you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology today that one wife rest. Sometimes cause the wives to be the best version of themselves of a and! Promote jealousy among wives and their children to monogamous relationships a situation, man... Marriage in Islam is the & quot ; Justice & quot ; &. Which can be at another location or under one roof with the multiple options available in polygamy psychologically...
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